Today’s usually the day I post The Week in Links but this week has been rough. The last couple of days I’ve barely had the energy to post on social media. The Week in Links is fun but it’s a monster to prepare.
Dealing with life just sucks out all my energy. But, I have to keep moving forward. I’m just slower than I used to be. I had planned to release a book this month but that’s not happening.
Let’s get real. Authors have at least 2 full-time jobs. Maybe 3 since book marketing can eat up your writing time. Somehow, other authors manage family as well as writing, publishing and marketing while having a full-time job.
It takes a lot of energy. When you’re dealing with a consistent problem, like not having enough money for simple things like food, you find you have a lot less energy. On top of that, I published my first book in 2012, been marketing on social media since 2011. 13 books later and I’m only making like $12 a year in book sales, if that. It’s real frustrating when you go on social media and see you lost more followers than you gained.
I’ve considered giving up on writing. I find myself saying, “I don’t feel like” it a lot. I get hungry but I don’t eat as much as I need to. My body just doesn’t want it. The emotional highs and lows and annoying.
It’s called depression and I’m learning to take it seriously.
I’m going back to my roots. I haven’t felt this bad since college. Back then, I’d pour my thoughts and emotions into a character. I didn’t often write them out of their situation. I wrote the character feeling better about it or at least, feeling angry enough to push through. I rarely write stories that are pure wish fulfillment but Visible through Darkness was me dreaming through my fingers. Most of the stories I’ve publish started with me just pouring out my emotions.
I’m not taking a break from writing or social media, I actually like social media. Preparing a book for publishing, doing cover and interior design, is fun. Writing is fun when I’m not trying to sell books. Maybe that’s the problem. Just write and be active on social media without worrying about book sales.
